you left so soon....

2002.

I remembered she came for interview before me.

Lulusan UUM dan masih aku ingat dengan soalan aku padanya; kenapa student UUM pakai tie dalam hutan?

Aku tak ingat apa jawapan dia...tapi from that moment on, she stole our hearts with her kindness, her soft voice and her commitment to the job.

11 years you served us as our most trusted account executive.

Kadang-kadang bila elaun aku lambat, aku minta dengan dia.

...and she would come with the money that I don't know from which source. She is so creative with the money management.

...dan biasanya aku akan kata padanya, "boleh la saya makan nasik hari ni..."

for the past 5 years she would bring the money and said.." buleh makan nasik la hari ni bos.."

Her daily routine would brings her to my room for signing the cheques. Every working day.

I am going to miss that.

One day sometime this year, I heard she wanted to resign so I called her up and asked.

"nak berenti ke nim? nape?..."

"takkan nak kerja sini selama-lamanya bos..." she said.

...and that kept lingering in my ears today.

18.4.2013

Dia belanja nasi beriyani kepada semua staff including all the bosses.

And ada staff yang demand something from her from that treat of nasi beriyani. She said..."ini last saya belanja..lepas ni tak mau belanja dah..." dengan tawa kecil.

indeed, that was true.

if only we knew...

21.4.2013

She met an accident. She was in a car, back passenger's side, wearing seatbelt on her way to Kota Bharu. She took leave that day.

A 4X4 hit her car after skidding into her way.

Ususnya koyak, pancreas nya koyak, 3 tulang rusuknya retak, tulang belakangnya retak, tangan kirinya patah.

The impact from the seat belt.

She was later induced to coma for a few major operations on her internal injuries.

24.4.2013

Aku menziarahnya di HUSM, Kubang Kerian.

Dia tidur dalam lena yang dalam.

Koma.

Aku doa di sisinya. Berbisik. Nim, Be strong. Hang on.

We were told that she is going to be fine. The anesthetic will be slowly reduced for her to wake up.

..then we went home having in mind that later she will wake up and everything will be fine.

She didn't.

3.5.2013

My partner called and said...she might not make it, her husband were told to accept whatever the fate.

Aku solat hajat. Tahajjud. Pohon kerahmatan dan kesembuhan.

Allah maha mendengar.

She was stable again.

Syukur padaMu ya Rabb.

7.5.2013

~2.30 pm


Partner intercom beritahu yang her husband called saying that her condition is very critical.

...nazak. All her internal organs are gradually failing. Pancreas bleeds again.

Usai solat Zuhur, solat hajat pohon dia diberi kemudahan jika itu Janji Dia.

~3.56 pm

She left home and never coming back.

Leaving her husband and 8 years old daughter.

...and a thousand flashing images of her in my office.

~10.00 pm

Kami simpan dia di Tanah Perkuburan Bukit Kecil.

...with a small tears from all of us. 11 years of working together. I can still remember the knock on my door, the soft voice and everything about her especially her smiles.

~12.01 am

Kami pergi minum sembang2 PRU13 dan kadangkala terkenang.

~1.10 am

Aku lalu kembali ke tempat persemadian dia. Lampu-lampu untuk kerja-kerja pengebumian tadi sudah disimpan.

Seluruh kawasan diselubungi kegelapan. Sunyi dan kelam.

Dari dalam kereta. Seberang jalan.

Dalam hati kecil aku.

"bye nim...moga rohmu tenang di sana."

Nurhanim Abd Ghani. 1979-2013

Al-Fatihah.


~po